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  • Writer's pictureJo Fontana

Experimenting with Farts

There is a lot to be said about the power of farts. I know some people don’t like to talk about them, let alone rip one in public. Sometimes though, you can’t help it—they just sneak out. Uncle Titian and I were working in the magic garden and he gave me some really good ideas and some really good advice too. The first thing he told me is that farts are flammable. He said it was very important not to light them though! He said he tried once and singed all the fuzz around his butt. It could have been a lot worse that it was. I won’t try to do that now because I like keeping my fuzz. But I have decided to experiment with farts again. The first idea I had was to collect my farts and see if I can fill a jar with them. (Maybe they will make the jar float. I think that would be amazing!) I know that this may be tricky to do but I think that I can do it if I get a jar small enough to squeeze them into. I will have to keep the jar with me all the time. This will be easier to do now because it’s summer and Mr. Howler can’t stop me from doing my experiments. I think I’ll try to see if I can control how much I can let out. This way I have the ability to trick my friends. I can blame them on everyone else and technically I didn’t fart right then and there so I can say that I didn’t fart with a straight face. I try not to lie and technically it won’t be. It will just be a great gag!

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